Awh Hell.  Winning at Notre Dame.  That blessed university in Indiana.  How long has it been?

Well, I graduated high school in 1998, and I consider myself to be an aging bastard.

Throw into the mix that WVU last won @ ND in 1996, then be prepared to shit your pants when you realize that I was just learning to drive and Gale Catlett was our head coach.  Oh, and Tupac had just died.

Hell, a lot of students that are at WVU may not even know who the leather-donning Catlett even was.  And I sure as hell HOPE they know about ‘Pac.

If you look at this season’s earlier matchup with the Irish, you’ll realize that WVU let it slip away in the waning seconds.  Tight all game, ND pounded some threes and just like that- the game was over.

But seriously, back to the road game thing… how has it been that long since we’ve won a game in South Bend?

Something else is truly frightening… and it’s called our schedule as we’ve got two games in the next three days against ranked teams. First we have to travel tonight to No. 18 Notre Dame (19-8, 11-3 Big East) where we haven’t won since the internet was just becoming a fad, and then on Friday the Mountaineers host No. 10 Marquette (22-5, 11-3) in a 9 p.m. ESPN game at the Coliseum.

Wait, the year Tupac died?

Yep, that means we’ve lost 10 straight games from an era when current college freshman were shitting in diapers and some rapper named Shakur was just gunned down in Las Vegas…

I can’t even think straight when it comes to actually breaking down the game, and why should I?  It’s not like we’ve given two shits of an effort EVER there.

So in all reality, it’s time to change that.

I don’t want to be explaining to next year’s readers who Gale Catlett was or why Tupac was one of the greatest rappers of all time.

… NOT COUCH SURFING!

Listen, if you do stupid shit, expect stupid shit to happen.  Up to, and including, DEATH.

That’s just what happened when 22 year-old Francois Halle and his friends took on the YouTube tradition of couch surfing.  He and two of his friends were rockin’ out on the back of a couch being towed by a speeding van on Saturday when the sofa-rig slid into oncoming traffic and was hit by another car.

WTF?

You REALLY?!? don’t understand physics here kids?

Put it this way… when the van goes into a turn, the couch is going to want to continue to go straight.  We’ll call it: Dumbasses Law.

Or perhaps we can name it, E=MC2 + YÖU’re g0NN@ D1É

So what happened had to be pretty spectacular at that point as the couch went left of center and got hit head-on mangling little Francois.

I’m sure  in that last moment of his life he truly appreciated that he had done something great here.  Something profound.

Much like the guy that wonders how his jaw is planted in the ceiling after pulling the trigger under his chin in some friendly Russian Roulette… it’s hard to feel sorry for someone like this.

Sure, we wear helmets when riding a motorcycle… but nothing can go wrong on a couch for Christ’s sake!

Cops say homeslice that was driving, 21-year old Alex Labbe, fled the scene but was later arrested at his home in Saint-Georges.  On Monday, he was charged with dangerous driving causing death, criminal negligence and fleeing the scene.

One of Labbe’s friends told police that the driver panicked when he saw Halle’s mangled body lying on the country road.

I mean WTF!  Really!

Ahem. I’m an idiot? What game am I watching? Incredible defender? He’s the same as John Flowers?

Fine, Ill go back and take a look at Keaton, and we’ll see how wrong I am.

For sample size I decided to take the last 10 games ( 1/3 of the season is plenty for any data) and see how players that started the game opposite of Keaton Miles fared against this “Incredible Defender”.

Before I give the data I will fully admit that Miles is not ALWAYS on these players, we do switch a lot of screens. Also Miles is not always on the court, he only gets 12.9 minutes a game. However, I will say that if you’re a “incredible defender” you will get a decent amount of minutes on a good offensive player, and you could see in the stats how you effect those you’re matched up against.

Players matching up against Keaton Miles, the players who are in the same position as Miles at tip-off, are averaging 14.6 points and 5.8 rebounds per game against WVU. Out of ANY of the positions that have started against WVU in the last 10 games, the players that have matched up against Keaton Miles have had the highest scoring average. Not only that but players that are matched up against Miles at tip-off average 3.0 points and 0.5 rebounds MORE against WVU than their season averages.

During that same span Keaton Miles has (totals) 16 points, 19 assists, 16 rebounds, 13 fouls, 3 blocks and 2 steals. Over 10 games.

When you’re on the court getting 1.6 points and 1.6 rebounds per game over your last 10 and your counterpart is going for 14.6 and 5.8, that’s a problem. When the player matched up against you the last 10 games has the higher scoring average over anyone else on the court at tip, you’re probably not an incredible defender. When your assignment at tip is getting 3 full points more a game then their season average against you, you’re probably not an incredible defender. Meanwhile the WVU team only goes 8 deep over these past 10 games, and the first two off the bench are guards. Miles is essentially the only one of the team that can play his position, and his contribution is critical. However, theres been no dent made by him. He leaves no marks on the game. If Miles was able to get 8 points and 4.5 rebounds a game this team would be alot better, and a much bigger threat. 1.6 and 1.6 isn’t cutting it.

Oh and compare him with John Flowers first season? Flowers had 165 points, 91 rebounds, and 53 fouls in 12.4 minutes, on a deeper offensive team no less. Keaton Miles is getting 12.9 minutes a game and has 39 points, 45 rebounds, and 46 fouls. You don’t see a difference there? Really? What game are you watching?

PS- Oh and Dan, worst post you’ve EVER read? Really? Ever? I could see you disagreeing with every word I wrote, but worst EVER read? Is this you first day on CFS? READ THIS and get back to me on if my Keaton Miles post is the worst post you’ve EVER read.

Florida wins again.

Every single time I think I’ve found a story outside of the Sunshine State that is going to give our boy Hoyle a break… shit like this pops up.

As in- this dude in a wheelchair tried to hold up a convenience store.

But that’s not the real WTF moment of the day.

_________________________________

The Chevron clerk told police that 22-year old John Christopher Champion, who was wearing a Gators hat and Gators sweatshirt, had been going in and out of the store for several hours in his motorized wheelchair. Just before 10 p.m., the clerk said Champion piloted his chair behind the counter and demanded cash from the register as he brandished a pocket knife.

The 54-year old clerk said she fought back and in her struggle with Champion she stabbed him three times in the leg before he overpowered her. He then allegedly rolled out of the store with a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape.

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Where in the hell did he think he was going to go?  WTF?

And with a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape?  Seriously dude?  Were you going to wire up your speakers and jam out with a 12-pack once you rolled your ass home in your Rascal?

Well he didn’t make it that far.

When the cops go there, they found Champion stuck in the sand behind the store drinking a Bud Light Lime.  All hung up.

Really?!?

It’s no wonder our country is going to shit.

PS- I expect a beer delivery guy to show up at my doorstep with my certificate for a lifetime supply of Anheuser-Busch products and a free Rascal.  Gracias.

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